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Thursday, 21 August 2008

  • Two days ago, I went to the emergency room because I couln't breath  and I felt very weak. They made me take a breathing test, do a nebulizer treatment, take another breathing test, have a chest x-ray, and have blood work done. I was then diagnosed with an acid reflex disorder that causes my stomach acid to come up into my throat and make me not able to  breath. I went home and rested, but the next morning i had to work.

     

    I made it through work ok, however things did not go by without me noticing every one's negative outlook on everything. I work in a sad place. I am now at my bf's house (who actually stayed at my house till 4am becuase he fell asleep).I am looking forward to the State Fair and working at saving all my money so I can spend freely while I'm there.

Tuesday, 12 August 2008

  • Both yesterday and today I have slept past 10. Granted, I have to get up at 7 and bring my sister to volley ball and then I come back home and sleep. However, I do enjoy it. I feel refreshed: its because the wheather is all rainy ,so I don't feel like I'm waisting time.

    I am second guessing myself. For the entirety of this entry all I have been doing is thinking "thats wrong". Not a good day to do deep thinking. I must now go and listen to Joyce Meyers.

     

Thursday, 07 August 2008

  • Yesterday, I felt annointed. There was a connection between God and I. Today, there is a wall; no desire to pray, or do my studies. I don't think I have the strength to pull through these times, to make myself do what I don't what to. I don't feel abandoned or lonely....just inactive. My eyes are itchy with sleepiness; my muscles lack energy.

    I am trying to learn how to eat healthier, but frankly, healthy food and my experience with is has been gross. It is much easier to pop some Easy Mac in the microwave and call it good. I'm doing this in preparation for college. Hopefully I won't end up getting too fat.

    Right now I will go and finish my chores and then go take a walk......I'll follow through with it....I hope.

Tuesday, 05 August 2008

  • Its all too easy to see that I am not blogging at much as I first intended. I begin this entry today with intentions of writing to remember.....

    A situation at work has been blown way out of proportion.  They don't tell us that people aren't coming down to eat, so I set places for them. Then, as they see their plate they "remember" that this person isn't coming down. So, I go and undo all the setting up I did and put this person on the room tray cart. This person then comes down right at the time that we should be cleaning up, but since these cnas are such bad workers they are not able to get done on time. They ask for me to feed this person and I ask them if they can wait till later, that is it too late. They come back again (after trying to make small talk) ask for the food again. I was frusterated and I tell them that they need to get their stuff together and decide whether these people are coming down or not, that we both need to work a little harder to get this figuered out. I got a reply that " it is really hard to get everyone out of bed".  I gave the person their food and that was the end of it.

    This afternoon, I got talked to my the shift supervisor telling me that I need to have the residents come first. I told my side of the story and things were fine (I was still angry, but as far as I was conserned things were cleared with the administration). I got home from work and at about 315 my phone rings; the caller id shows its a private number. I answered the phone. I recognized the voice as the person who had asked me to get the food the following evening. They were talking at me, not to me. "I had fun with your dogs last night", "want to play a game" , "want to play guess who", there was more but I was in good spirit and told my boyfriend to say "who is this" in a "scary" voice. He did and the caller knew who he was. This person then asked my bf if he had been fishing. He denyed that he had and the caller asked if he had been fishing for my scivies. My bf got upset and hung up the phone. I started to go through the list of people who would A) have my phone number and B) want to do this too me. I ruled out the person who did it because I didnt know at the time that they were so upset about the previous nights events. I was later told that those people who were working that night say I have no right to do what I have done. They all hate me and think Im a bitch.

    There are plenty of times when they have done wrong to the residents. They sit and talk instead of feeding them. They will yell at them . They will refuse to turn the radio to a classical station. They will come back and go in our friges and leave the door open. They will use our coffee pot. They are simply lazy slobs.

    When my bf arrived at work shortly after recieving the phone call, he said that they two people who we now know did it started laughing at the sight of him, and when he didnt treat them that kindly, they figured out that he knew and stayed out of his way. Dispite of last nights happenings, however, after talking to my bf I know that the same thing that happened last night happened again tonight. One of the people probably overheard me saying that the night shift should be cleared out and replenished, and something else along the lines of how they are all worthless: They are.

     

    there it all is in case i need to refer to it later

Thursday, 31 July 2008

  • The beginning of August is going to be the beginning of a new era for me. This does not mean that I will be doing different things, but it means that I will have a different approach to doing these things. I will become more devoted to my studies and keeping updated on current events, I will write every day, and I will set out again on my voyage with Christ. All these things are not new, however, the full out commitment to them is. The hardest part for me is to stay focused. My mind wonders while reading making my studying very difficult. However, I think that I allow my mind to wonder. You see, whenever I am totally committed to what I am doing, for example studying, I never seem to make any progress. Yes...I am beginning to see this now. As long as I let myself believe that I have studied even if my thoughts were in different places then my math equations, I somehow feel better than if I make myself study hard and feel no gained benefit. Oh, it is becoming so clear to me now.

beautifullife122333

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    • Member Since: 6/23/2008

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